Month: October 2013

Day 87 – Pleasant Surprise


Today has been a wonderful day!  Work went by fast, hit the gym for the fourth day in a row (tomorrow making my first official week of 5 straight days of working out) and I made a 103 on my Visual Programming midterm!

However, my night certainly didn’t start off that way…

I took one look at my midterm paper and panicked…

I mean really panicked…

Full blown, head in hands, tears rolling down my face panic attack.  I thought for sure my programming career had ended before I had even started.

Then something weird happened.  Something that never happens to me…

I forced myself to calm down.

I took deep breaths and counted to 100 (no, I’m not kidding – 100).  Then I decided to take one more look at the test write at least one part of the code.  If nothing else, I knew how to close the form.

Before I knew it, there I was zipping up the program, complete with the extra credit.   There was no way I was going to be able to wait a week to know my grade so I begged the instructor to look at it before I left.

And I scored a 103.

Ecstatic doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.”  ~Golda Meir 

Day 86 – Today’s Lesson – Determination

Today I really came to the realization that I’m determined to lose this weight.  I’m more determined than I’ve ever been about anything in my entire life.  I’ve been stagnant for almost a month, but I refuse to let that get me down.  I know what I’ve been doing wrong and I know what I need to do to correct it. It’s time to take charge of my life and get serious about my body.

That’s not to say that I haven’t been working hard so far, but I know that I’m not giving it my all.  I’ve been sneaking in excuses to eat poorly and to skip exercising.  I’ve continued to count my calories and fit in at least three 45 minute sessions of exercise a week, but I know I can do more.

The first thing that I need to do is be 100% honest with my calorie counting.  If I drink half of a 20 oz. PowerAde, then I should log those 55 calories and not think to myself “I’m sure I’m 55 calories off on something else in my favor.”  If I add parmesan cheese to my pizza, then I need to log those 25 calories.  Maybe one day I’ll be able to relax a little and eat more intuitively, but that time is not now.

Fortunately, Cliff has committed to working out five days a week (and has stuck with it for 2 months now!) and since we carpool that means that I also have to work out five days a week.  I am so incredibly lucky to be going through all this with someone that is just as (if not more so) determined to change our lives as I am.

I’ve already made a few changes and I’m looking forward to going to the grocery this week so that I can stock up on some new recipes.  I’ve tried several new things over the past month or so and I can’t wait to keep exploring healthier options for us rather than just repeating the same food we’ve been eating for months.  I can feel myself starting to get burned out on the same four meals over and over.  It’s nice to be able to still eat foods that we like while we’re losing weight (thanks My Fitness Pal and exercise!) but there are so many other meals out there that I’m sure are more delicious and more filling than 3-Cheese Totino’s and cucumbers.  I refuse for this change to just be another “diet” where I eventually get tired of eating the same thing over and over or forcing myself to live on water and yogurt.

I’ve started following a fantastic weight loss blog called Runs for Cookies and she has some amazing suggestions and ideas about eating what you want when you want, but only in moderation.  This keeps you from feeling deprived and helps curb the urge the binge (which I have a huge problem with).  I can’t wait to try some of her recipes!  Katie (the site owner) is truly an inspiration and I plan to keep following her through her maintenance story as well.

Outside of the lifestyle update, I’ve also had a pretty good break through at work.  This month was my first month working on my own call queue (I’m a Managed Care Claim Collector for a healthcare auditing firm) and I just found out today that I’m the first collector that has met our revenue goal of $1M/month.  It does feel nice to know that my skills from my previous job weren’t just a fluke and it seems like I have, at least, a decent intelligence level.  J

In addition to that good news, Cliff and I are also planning on heading back to the gorge this weekend.  We haven’t been since we weighed our lowest almost 3 years ago (265 for me and 416 for him).  We had a blast last time and I’m sure this trip will be just as awesome.  I’m hoping to sneak in some Geocaching and hopefully lots of pretty pictures of the leaves changing.  It will definitely be a nice place to get some activity outside of the gym or our basement.  Today’s picture is from our last trip.  I can’t wait to be that size again!

“Some people succeed because they are destined but most because they are determined.” ~ unknown

Day 85 – Big Lunches and Little Dinners

Cliff and I decided to take a half day off from work today, mostly because I have two big midterms coming up tomorrow and Thursday.  We left work around 11:30, got the gym out of the way, and stopped at McAlister’s for lunch.  There’s nothing more comforting than a big bread bowl filled with Country Potato Soup on another gain at weigh in.  Sometimes this whole losing weight thing is for the birds.  I know that I wasn’t on my best behavior this weekend, but I didn’t think I had fallen off the wagon that badly.

I was up 2 WHOLE POUNDS this morning coming in at 288 flat.  This has me pacing at ~1.5 pounds per week, which just isn’t good enough for me.  In order to lose 100 pounds in 12 months I have to lose 1.8 pounds per week.

So now it’s time to really buckle down.  No more “cheat days” or even “cheat meals.”  It’s time to really focus on my exercise and to count every single calorie I eat (at least until I’m at a more manageable weight).  At first the thought of getting even more strict with my caloric intake and exercise routine demotivated me.  My initial thought was, “I’m never going to get to go out to dinner anymore.  I’m going to have to work out for an hour every time I want to have a few drinks.  What if I can’t maintain exercising 5-6 days a week?!”

Needless to say I had a pretty bad morning.

But then I put a quick end to the pity party and told myself that I was determined to get this weight off no matter what.  If it means that I have to plan every single meal until my goal weight, then that’s what I’ll have to do.  I’m tired of giving up every single time something gets a little more difficult than I thought it was going to be.  This applies, not only to the weight loss, but to school and work as well.

I’ve decided that I’m going to try and implement healthier meals on top of just counting calories.  Eating Totino’s frozen pizza every night for dinner (regardless if they’re only 640 calories) can’t be the best thing for my body.  I’m not saying that I still won’t eat a frozen pizza one night a week…I work full time and go to school full time, I would be a fool to think that a home cooked meal every night of the week is feasible.  However, I am committing to try one new recipe a week as well as limit myself to only two frozen meals per week.  My goal is to lose 3 pounds before my next weigh in, which will put me back on pace.

Tonight was my first experiment.  Since Cliff and I had such a big lunch, I decided to have a very light dinner.  I wound up making an omelet and toast.  However, I changed up the omelet a bit by only using one whole egg and two egg whites.  Then I beefed it up with peppers, onions, mushrooms, and some turkey sausage crumbles and cooked it in a tsp. of butter with garlic powder and parsley.  Add two pieces of toast and you have a nice, filling dinner for less than 500 calories.  I was pretty excited with the results.   I’ll definitely be sure to try different variations of omelets in the future.  I had no idea I loved eggs so much.

Never go backward. Attempt, and do it with all your might. Determination is power.  ~Charles Simmons