February 2014 archive

Day 203 – Setbacks

Well, that was short lived motivation.

It’s been a rough few days.  I completely fell of the wagon on Sunday (after a superb performance on the first day of our road trip) and am just now picking myself up.

I finished the week off strong and Cliff and I both behaved Saturday when we left for Nashville.  We had super light meals, stayed away from the gas station snacks, and even squeezed in our half hour of exercise when we got back to the hotel.  We started Sunday with the best of intentions.  We splurged on Sunday brunch, but we had planned that for months.  We got on the road after we finished eating and the 48 hour binge started at the first gas station we stopped at.  I got a sugar water Calypso and it was downhill from there.  Skittles, Chex Mix, and a huge dinner at Steak and Shake later and we were miserable…

When we got home Cliff said he wasn’t working out and thought we should call it quits on the challenge.  I was so happy I could have cried.  My knee had been burning for days and I felt completely run down.  I had been reading (over and over again, actually) that we should really be taking at least one rest day each week, but I didn’t want to quit.  We agreed that it was probably a bad idea and decided not to work out Sunday night.

But we didn’t go back on Monday.

And I didn’t go back today…

We were off work yesterday for President’s Day and we were doing so well.  We had cleaned up the house, were staying on par with our food, and I was putting away laundry.

Then I raised up from the laundry basket.

I’m not sure if it was the way I turned or I raised up too fast, but I felt a blinding pain shoot through my back and almost all the way down into my left knee.  I thought for sure I was going to pass out.  The involuntary jerk from the pain twisted the knee that had been burning for days and I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Fast forward past Cliff helping me sit down into the recliner and me sobbing for a few hours and you will find me elbow deep in a bag of salt and pepper chips…

Then a frozen pizza…

Then peanut butter and graham crackers and chocolate chips…

And flaming hot Cheetos…

Need I go on?

I was so depressed over the fact that I couldn’t work out that I turned to food for the rest of the day (explain that logic to me!)

I wound up missing my midterm, cancelling dinner with friends, and missing a day of work because of the pain in my back.  I was mostly back on track today, but not like I should be.  However, I’ve planned my meals for tomorrow, I’ve posted my issues in my fitness group, and I’m ready to dust myself off and get back up.

I realize that I might not ever be able to completely control my binges, but I know that I can never give up.  I can never stop thinking that this binge might be the last one.  I have to keep pushing forward and one day I will be able to look back and laugh at how difficult this all seemed.  That day might not have been today, but it might be tomorrow, or the next day, or next year.  But I’ll never find out if I stop trying.

Overall, I don’t regret the weekend.  We did have a great time in Nashville and I did score some huge deals at Under Armor, so at least I’m prepared for the gym!  We started the day at Third Man Records and then we all went to Dave and Buster’s and Sarah and I shopped till we dropped (seriously, I was sooo tired – we had to have walked several miles by the time we covered the entire Opry Mills Mall).   Brunch was amazing, as usual, and the hotel was really nice.  It was nice to get away and even though we weren’t on par with our eating plan, we made some amazing memories.  I can’t seem to find my camera, so the only memories I can share are the ones I snapped on my phone.

Nashville - Valentine's Day 2014

Nashville – Valentine’s Day 2014

Day 197 – Even Bigger Progress

Tonight will be a short post, because I just finished homework and I’m exhausted (and still hormonal – sorry for the TMI).

However, I just had to share that today was a downright amazing day.

It started off like this:

Lowest weight as an adult

Lowest weight as an adult

And ended like this:

Week 3 - Day 1 of C25K FINALLY complete.  Never thought I would conquer a 3 minute run.

Week 3 – Day 1 of C25K FINALLY complete. Never thought I would conquer a 3 minute run.

I couldn’t focus on anything at work.  My brain kept firing off, “I’m finally past 262.  I’m almost out of the 260’s.  I am, literally, the smallest I have ever been since I was a teenager.”  All of a sudden I was overcome again with that feeling of assurance that I was going to see this through.  That this was my life now and I was enjoying it!  I didn’t dread going to the gym anymore, I didn’t roll my eyes and groan at the sight of carrots, I no longer scoff at the idea of protein shakes (thanks Angela!)  I felt like I glowed the entire day.

The feeling carried through to the gym and I was bound and determined to finish that run.

It hurt.

I felt like I was going to throw up.

I had to slow down.

But I did it.  I might have been hanging onto the sides of the treadmill for the last 30 seconds, but I made it.

And I’m never looking back.

Today’s quote was inspired by my wonderful new friends at Fit Nation Baby!

“There is a real magic in enthusiasm. It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.”  ~Norman Vincent Peale

Day 194 – Big Progress

The rest of the week continued on much like Wednesday…up and then down.  Friday I felt like I was flying, today I felt like I was sinking in quick sand.

I blame hormones.

And programming homework.

But mostly hormones.

Instead of dwelling on my absolutely horrific bad day today, I want to fixate on Friday.

Oh Friday, what a wondrous day you were.

First you delivered the next piece of my fitness puzzle…

Day 194-2

Then you gave me my first ever 5K…

…and a new PR for my session pace (15:54/mile)

…and my first ever 3 minute sprint!

Day 194

Isn’t it a shame that it wasn’t a C25K training session that I was doing instead of a free run?  To be honest, it makes me even happier that it just happened when I technically wasn’t even trying.  I had tried the W3D1 workout for C25K on Thursday and just couldn’t hack it.  I made it through the first 90 second sprint, but I just couldn’t do the 3 minutes straight and had to quit at 2m15s.  I was so disappointed in myself (queue the first appearance of Aunt Flow’s sister, Polly Molly Sue).  I came home and sat in my room and cried.  Cliff laughed out loud at me blubbering about how I couldn’t run for 3 minutes and reminded me of where I was six months ago.  Immediately I was reminded of another crying episode…one where I was too scared to even up the speed on the treadmill to a light jog.  I felt like such a failure, but I was determined to lose the weight – even if I never became a runner.  So, I started using the elliptical, where I felt like I could work harder without the impact of the treadmill and that’s where I stayed for fifty pounds.

I sat back and marveled at far I’ve come on my fitness journey, even if it has been a slow build.  Six months ago I could barely last 5 minutes on an elliptical and now I’m running/walking 5K, busting out 45 minute sessions on every cardio machine they have, and biking 6 ½ miles on my REST DAYS!  Who is this person?

If you would have told me a year ago that I would be signed up to run a 5K, I would have laughed in your face…for a really long time.  And then I would have had a burger.  Now I’m not only signed up for my first 5K in June, but I also signed up for a 3K in March with my badass FitNation team, and will be starting P90X3 next week.  I know, I know – I was supposed to start tomorrow, but I had no idea that you needed to study for a few days before starting this program.  Good grief, it came with a full sized novel!  (and 30 days of the most AMAZING shakes called Shakeology – more on that in another post).  So, my plan is to spend this week learning about it and getting some resistance bands so that I can modify some of the workouts and then starting next Tuesday.

I will also be taking my measurements (another first!) this week and getting some official before pictures made.  A friend of mine is a photographer and I’m thinking about asking her to do them at her studio so that I can use them once I’ve lost all the weight.  The lighting in my house is awful and I refuse to only have the before pictures that I’ve snapped with my iPhone in the mirror.

I’m still on the fence about the body fat monitor, so I’m going to do a bit more research on it before I make the final decision.  Right now, I’m just going to focus on the measurements, the pictures, and getting started on P90.  However, if the scale still hasn’t budged on Wednesday then I might just have to order one in order to keep my sanity.

Tomorrow I take another stab at W3D1 after work.  Luckily, the schedule only calls for a 28 minute session, so I should have plenty of time to get it in before class.  Monday’s are such a difficult day for me.

  • Work – 7:30 – 4
  • Gym by 4:30
  • Done by 5:00
  • Home by 5:15
  • Showered by 5:30
  • Get to class by 6
  • Home at 10

I have absolutely no idea how people with kids do it…

Now it’s time for a bit of light reading (how many different workouts are in this program anyway???) and then bed.  Tomorrow I start my first challenge with my amazing FitNation team and I can’t wait!

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